So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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