I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i used baking grease as lip gloss
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
