I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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