PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
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