he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hippo gnu deer
Drunk walkin through police station. America
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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