it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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