Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
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