So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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