no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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