Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
Randomize
