this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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