just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Randomize
