If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
