Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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