yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Randomize
