in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
