I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
