He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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