love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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