if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
