Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
The air taste purple.
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