I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
