Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Randomize
