I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Randomize
