3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
I got inside last night via doggy door
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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