So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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