Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
