You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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