I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
