I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
