those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
