Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
