In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
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