remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
