would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I would fuck him just for his dog
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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