Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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