Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
bring money and cleavage
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
