Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize