And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
