I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
