C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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