You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
I fill condoms, not promises.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Randomize
