Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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