did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Randomize
