i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Randomize
