I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
