Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
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