***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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