he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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