so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
