just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm sobbing to NWA
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
