a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
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