I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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