I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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