you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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