I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
she smelled like a LAN party
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
