After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
