I love black thongs
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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